The following is a guest post by Katie
Whether you have been together one year or twenty, every couple will face a point where the romance seems to have disappeared and you feel the need to boost something and bring some spark back into your life. Romance can mean different things for different couples but all of these ways to rekindle romance in marriage can be adapted to your personal situation and marriage.
Most women like romantic candlelit dinners, flowers and love notes but depending on your love language it may be more romantic to your partner to see you help with chores or play with the kids. Whatever your romantic notions are, here are some great ways to get started making that spark reappear with your partner.
Create A Journal of Love. My parents did this throughout my childhood and I always thought it was both sappy and cute, but it could go a long way towards helping you to rekindle romance in marriage. A simple composition book, journal or even legal pad was always lying on the counter in their bathroom. Every morning my Dad would leave for work before my mom and would write long notes of love, short poems or simple passages of scripture that reminded him of their love. Even on bad days, it might simply be an “I love you” written there but it was always something to let her know she was important to him. She in turn would respond likewise. They have hundreds of these books packed away to chronicle their 40+ year marriage now. The act of taking the time to write something simple each day reminded them to make that choice of keeping the love and romance alive.
Discover Your Love Language. Although not everyone agrees, I find The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman to be one of the best investments I ever made. It very simple shows you the types of ways people feel love. Some enjoy the purely physical things more than others. Some appreciate the compliments and building up of themselves more. This book will help you determine not only what makes you feel loved but also what ways your partner feels the most loved.
Reinvent Date Night. Are you stuck in a rut of no date nights due to kids? Seek out free parent’s night outs at churches, local boys & girls clubs or exchange babysitting with family or friends in your community. Even if it’s a simple walk downtown, night in with a movie or a long romantic dinner, it is imperative to create time for just the two of you to spend focused on each other. If what you are doing now doesn’t make you feel romantic, then communicate about what will and make that happen at least once per month. Maybe a foot massage and a fun chick flick is what you want or for him a few beers and a football game. Choose to communicate and compromise giving each person a chance to get what they appreciate the most.
Light The Candles & Turn on Barry White. Romance is not always about physical intimacy but for many couples that factor can be most important and necessary to keep romance alive. With kids, work and all the activities that go along with it, intimacy can be hard to maintain. It may sound crude, but putting it on the calendar and scheduling it is one of the best ways to help make sure you and your partner are both satisfied and built up in that area as well.
Plan A Staycation “Honeymoon”. Book a cheap hotel room in a local to you city or tourist area and take the kids to grandmas for a weekend. Put on a little makeup, buy some new lingerie and pretend it’s your first time away together.
What are some of your suggestions to rekindle romance in marriage?