In my continuing effort to bore the pants off of you re-create my "100 things page", I present Part II of my X-part series. Did you miss last week's absolutely thrilling installment? Then just click here and prepare to be bored enchanted with tiny little details about my extended family!
My Ten Most Memorable Moments
- The first time I was sneeringly called a Liberal: it was the Fall of 1976 and I was in 2nd grade. We were having a mock-election and I cast my vote for the person that I had heard my mom saying was "her guy"...Jimmy Carter. Another child in the class saw my vote, rolled his eyes and said "another Liberal!". I assume he later grew up to be a tight-ass Republican shithead (as opposed to a cool Liberal-Republican like myself)
- When I realized that my (now ex) stepfather was a dick: It was around the same time. We were living in an apartment complex with a pool (with a lifeguard) and when he and my mom were at work, my sister and I snuck off and went swimming. When he found out, he made me sit there and watch while he took scissors to every swimsuit I owned. Fuckhead!
- The day that my mother smashed my piggy bank. I had a wonderful old-fashioned ceramic piggy bank (that if I remember correctly, my mother had even made/painted for me). I forget what I had done, but she was in my room yelling at me and she picked up my piggy bank and threw it on the floor, smashing it to pieces. Thirty+ years later, I still enjoy throwing it up in her face (usually after we have had quite a few drinks)
- The first time I had sex: I was way too young and he was definately the wrong guy (I was a sophmore twit and he was a cool Senior/Lacrosse player. He never spoke to me again). I was terrified. It was the longest 8 seconds of my life.
- The Night of "CheeseBall"?: It was my early in my sophmore year of college and my true love a guy I thought was pretty cool but in retrospect was pretty dorky Regular Saturday Night Hookup was in my room we were just hanging out and talking & drinking and eating cheeseballs. By this time, my roommate and I truly hated each other and were playing the "you can't make me leave my own room" game. She kept telling us to be quiet and Dave just kept saying "Cheeseball?". Every time he said it, she got madder and madder until she finally flounced out of the room. I don't know why, but that is one of my favorite college memories (probably because my sophmore year was pretty sucktastic and that was one of the few times that I "won").
- The Night I Met Brad: October 4th, 1990: my mother was out of town, but annoying friends of hers were staying at our house for a few days while they were in town for business. My best friend called me from a bar where she was with her boyfriend and 20 of his fraternity brothers (one of which was Brad). She called me at 10:00pm begging me to "save her". I told her that I wasn't in the mood because I had just broken up with my boyfriend about 20 minutes before. Just then, the husband-friend came in and started talking to me and I told Joan that I would be there in 10 minutes. If my mother would have had more interesting/less annoying friends, I might not have ever met Brad!
- The day my mother kicked me out of the house: The day after Thanksgiving, 1992. I had been dating Brad for 2 years and pretty much spending most of my nights at his apartment (I was still living at home). After Thanksgiving dinner, Brad & I went out with friends and I spent the night at his place, but I was supposed to get up early, come home and rake leaves. We overslept. My mom had been pretty pissed at me for some time because I was truly treating her house as a hotel. When I got home (late), she told me to pack my shit and get out. Brad & I were planning on moving in together in a month anyway (once he settled on the condo he was buying). I consider it a testament to how close our family is that by Christmas my mom & I were back on good terms. The truth? It was a kick in the ass that I truly needed at the time.
- The day Brad asked me to marry him: July something, 1993: It was in the middle of a furniture store as we were picking out a new bedroom set. I Jokingly said "I can't believe that you are spending thousands on new furniture when I don't even have a ring". He turned to me and said "then let's go get one!". We finished shopping for the furniture, went home, he got down on one knee and proposed. Then we headed to my father's house for a barbeque, stopping at a jewelry store on the way to buy a ring. Pure romance, no?
- The day Prince #1 was born. All of the births were memorable, but this one was purely because I was terrified. I had my epidural at 4 cm and tons of pitocin, but I wasn't going past 7 cm. Then I spiked a fever and 2 minutes later I was being wheeled in for an emergency c-section. Brad wasn't allowed in the room yet and it seeemed as if the doctors and nurses were so busy that they didn't even realize that a real-life person who was scared out her mind was on the table. I started crying quietly when suddenly I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. It was the anesthesiologist and he talked me down and kept me from going insane until Brad got there.
- The day that The Queen was born: only because I never even considered the possibility that I might be having a girl. It's very simple: I go to the hospital and they hand me a boy! When the doctor said "It's a Girl!", the first words out of my mouth were "What the hell am I going to do with a girl?" (answer: dress her in pink and have a ball!). I'm sure those words will one day have her crying about what a horrible mom I am to Dr. Phil!
That's it! Next week? I have no idea!
Maria
8 seconds!!! LOLOLOLOL!
My first time, the guy was like...a foot long and 6" around and I made him stop. But, I bled so he obviously broke my hymen ie., took my virginity and I am really putting too much information in this comment so I know you have your face all screwed up like "What the hell is she talking about and why won't she stop?" so I'll just back away from your blog now...
Kelly
8 seconds, oh darlin. I've so been there.
But now I must go and check out Maria whose comment made me pee my pants.
Hugs!
Anonymous
I love #8. I think it's very endearing.
I'm with Kelly....*running*
BusyDad
Haha! I had the same mock election in 2nd grade and I also picked Jimmy Carter. Because he and I had the same first name. Come on, when you're in 2nd grade, that is a major issue, is it not? Love these stories of yours.
fightingwindmills
This is such a "Dr. Phil" list. The 10 most memorable moments that shape who you are today. I loved reading it. Enthralling, really.
Mindi
Maria: the story you ended up posting that day wasn't quite the one I was hoping for....but I'm still looking forward to reading it
Kelly (oh - how I miss you! when are you coming back?): yep - 8 seconds. typical high school guy, no? (although it was also a guy I dated when I was about 20 and broke up with him because he was so "quick". When it takes longer to get undressed than it does to have sex, it just isn't worth it!)
Anonymous (and I know who who are!): you will love Maria's place....just don't forget about me, 'kay?
BusyDad: are you saying that we are the same age? I was under the impression that you were a total "young stud"!
Fighting: you're mocking me, aren't you?
fightingwindmills
When I commented, I was feeling bad about myself because I've not done a list of memorable moments and I doubt mine would be as great as yours is. Your sense of humor is sometimes too much for me and I just don't know what to say. So I make a lame comment. But I do enjoy reading.
Mindi
Fighting: don't feel bad....and I'm sure that your list would be great as well. Look at it this way - many if not most of my childhood memorable moments were not so great and the result of having an emotionally abusive stepfather. And it was my comment who was lame, as I was trying to chanel Buzz Lightyear. "You're mocking me, aren't you?" is my absolute favorite line from the first Toy Story movie!