Clear your mind of the frump

That's right - it's Fight The Frump Friday, sponsored by Fussy.  This week, let's talk about a way that you can Fight The Frump that won't cost you a penny.  It's the frump in your mind that needs to go!

Remember when you were young?  Remember when you were in high school and would look at your teachers, doctors and the parents of your friends and think "Man - I hope I'm never that old!".  They drove sensible cars, talked about taxes and lawnmowers, listened to Motown and dressed like they were on their way to a funeral (at least that is what I thought, since they clearly had no interest in the wonderful 80s fashions!).  Sure, they got together and had crab-picking parties, game nights or just an evening out....but obviously it was because their life was devoid of all meaning from being so old and they were just trying to fool themselves.

And how old were these walking corpses of which I speak?  Most of them were between 30 & 40 years old.  I went through many years feeling sorry for those poor saps who were too old to know how to have fun.

And then something happened....I started to get older.  The years started to tick by and we got closer to 1999, which in my mind was the year of "oh my Lord, I'll be THIRTY.  I may as well have my burial plot picked out by then!".  That year had always been in the back of my mind as the year my life would be over, ever since my friends and I danced to the song in high school over and over and over.  I turned 30, and then 31 and then I just kept getting older....but I didn't FEEL older.  I still felt like I was 21.  Perhaps I felt too old to still do inverted keg stands (I could hit the count of 27, by the way...just another of my many talents), but I wasn't ready for the old folks home.  I started to understand how all those "old folks" could still pretend that they were having fun...because they WERE having fun.

Sadly, I have met one too many moms who think that growing up and being responsible automatically equal acting old.  Sure - we do have problems that we didn't have when we were 16 (like taxes and lawnmowers and the safety features of a Honda Odyssey vs. Ford Windstar),but should we allow that to define us?  Our society has become way too child-centered; much more than it was when we were children.  This hyper-focus on our children has caused too many parents to lose the balance between their lives and their children's lives and descend in to "frumpy thinking".

So what do I consider "frumpy thinking"?

1. Not having the ability to get together with other couples without talking about diapers, vomit and which 2nd grade teacher will be the perfect fit for your child next year
2. Unless one is pregnant or nursing or has a child that is likely to wake up in the middle of the night, an unwillingness to have more than one white wine spritzer because "I'm a mom now and that would be irresponsible" (although one could argue that anyone who drinks a spritzer needs to be shot anyway)
3. refusal to wear anything that shows even the teeniest bit of cleavage because "Moms don't do that" (of course, I am not advocating dressing like J Lo, I'm talking about the "just a peek" cleavage.  It won't kill you and unless you live in my neighborhood, won't get you branded as a shameless tart.)
4. thinking "why do I need makeup/nice underwear/clothes that were made within the past 10 years?  I'm just hanging around the house wiping dust and shit anyway!"
5. Letting all of your socializing take place at Home & School Meetings/events or at your Home Owners Association meetings

Of course, there is a difference between "thinking young" and being that pathetic 40-year-old man with the brand new convertible that is really just a penis extension.  Or the 40-year old mom still buying her clothes in the Juniors department.  Even if you have a body that won't quit, no 40-year old woman should be wearing a tube top and hot pants (unless she is working her corner or it is Halloween)

Age is just a state of mind.  Sure - the body may not work as well as it used to and you may suffer from CRS (Can't Remember Shit...I'm convinced that the placenta is directly tied to the brain and every time they removed placenta from my body, they took a portion of my brain with it), but that is no reason to walk around like you are just marking time until you can start the deathbed confessions.

So what are a few things that you can do RIGHT NOW to clear your mind of the frump?

1. NeverEverEVER take fashion advice from the WalMart/Target circular.  Sears should be a last resort as well.  When I think of fashion, I try not to take my cues from a store that also sells hammers.
2. Find a hobby that isn't related to your children.  Scrapbooking, while fun, is still a frumpy-mom-thing.  You need something to balance out the scrapbooking.  Something that is just for you.  Perhaps an art class where they use live male nudes?
3. Make friends with the childless couples in your neighborhood.  Invite them over for dinner/drinks after your children are in bed or zombied out in front of the Wii.  Talk politics/religion/anything but children. Remember that there is a whole world out there that doesn't involve Diaper Genies
4. Don't be afraid to embarrass your children.  You've earned that right and it is one of the main joys of parenting!  If that means you want to crank up Come on Eileen on the radio and "driver dance", assuming you aren't in heavy traffic, of course, then go ahead and do it.  (That song is why I was late to Prince #1's IEP meeting yesterday!)  I know now that my mother was not dancing to The Temptations to annoy me, but because she still enjoyed the music of her youth and wasn't quite ready for Englebert Humperdinck (or Air Supply and Kenny G for our generation)

We may not be able to keep our bodies young.  We may start to develop creaks and squeaks in our joints.  But with a few changes, we can avoid the creaks and squeaks in our mind.