Finally I'm "That Mean Lady Over There"

I knew that this day would come, I just didn't think it would be so soon!

Putting aside the sheer idiocy of entrusting all of the prop-placement (which they screwed up for our group last night, causing the parents who were watching rehearsal to start clapping to the tune of the song in order to support my kids who looked like they were about to cry when they hit their marks EXACTLY and their props weren't there) stage-direction and entrance/exit cues from the stage in charge of a bunch of middle-schoolers, there is just one thing that you don't do:

And that is gather 220 children ages five to ten on a stage behind a closed curtain and then plunge them in to pitch darkness.

Ok - you can do that, but then don't be amazed when they scream...and don't then yell at them for it

And after it happened no less than 5 times on Wednesday night and 3 times on Thursday night, I finally snapped...on what had to be a 6th grade girl.

She and others were standing in the darkness (along with the rest of us) yelling at the kids to be quiet.  I stepped over to her and:

Me: They're screaming because they are a bunch of 5-7 year olds that you just put in the dark.

Her:  It's not just the kindergarteners that are screaming

Me:  Nope - I bet my first-grader is too, since he still has problems with the dark...and screaming IS contagious when you have this many kids you know

And then the lights came on, the music started and they rehearsed the opening and closing acts (all 220 kids for those).  We went back to our area and were told that we were going to start all over.

And as we were filing back on the stage, I saw her again.  She was talking to a much more mature stagehand - he looked to be in 8th grade.  As I got closer, I saw her pointing to me and saying "that mean lady over there yelled at me because I was just trying to get the kids to calm down"

So after I got my kids lined up, I went over to where they were standing (perhaps not the wisest or most mature move, but everything about this rehearsal had been getting on my nerves):

Me:  Hey - if you're going to talk about me, let me make sure that you are getting it right.  I didn't say something to you because you were trying to calm the kids down.  I said something to you because you were stomping your feet, flailing your arms and screaming at the kids to shut up

Her:  (with a look of horror) I didn't say Shut Up!  I was saying Be Quiet!

Me:  they're the same thing to me and I don't really care about the words themselves.  They aren't the problem.  The problem is that you get a bunch of kids, many of who are tired, excited and some even still scared of the dark and put them in total darkness and then get mad at them for screaming.  Every time you turn off the lights they are going to scream.  We've already learned that.  If you don't want them to scream, don't turn off all the lights

8th Grader:  we don't control the lights ma'am

Me:  I know that...believe me when I say that I know that.  And (turning to the girl who looks like she is about to burst in to tears) I'm sorry if I upset you, but you can't freak out on a bunch of 6-year-olds for acting like 6-year olds.

Her:  I'm sorry ma'am

Me:  I don't need an apology....and you're doing a great job (a lie, but I was starting to feel bad).  Just calm down a bit and a few of us parents will talk to the lighting manager because we've all been saying the same thing

And then I walked away.  And as I was walking away, I heard:

She's so mean!  I'm glad she's not MY mother!

At least my own kids like me.  That's something, I guess.