Fun with Search Engines, Part "Please Never Let Me Run In to These Freaks!"

We spent the morning at the pool, just me and the 3 kids.  I can already tell what fun this summer is going to be.  And although I was diligent about the SPF 50 on the kids, guess what blonde-haired, blue-eyed dipshit who hasn't been in any real sun since last summer forgot to put sunscreen on herself?  Go on - take a guess!

Anyway......

It's time for another edition of "These are the terms the people you only hear about on TV use to find me!". 

I haven't done one of these for a while, so I went back 3 weeks.

• sweater puppies:  Ever since I used that term in this post, I get this search all the time.  It's a good phrase, no?
• mindi sex, mindi boobs, mindi fucking:  Yes I love it, yes they're small and no, there's no video of it (at least not on YouTube and not anywhere that Brad will ever be able to find it again!)
• James Marsters Penis:  if you EVER find pictures of him that satisfy this search, DO please send them to me!  I'm swooning just Googling a picture of him!
• free pictures of women inserting tampons:  tell me that there aren't sites out there where you can actually PAY to see these pictures....
• weight watchers sucks, why weight watchers sucks, etc:  it only sucks if you don't follow it the way you are supposed to and then you either don't lose or you gain weight.  Yep - I agree, it sucks!
• pta president on power trip:  if you can't figure out how to deal with her without Googling for help, then you are always going to lose.  Grow some balls!
• Zero point weight watchers soup:  I can't believe that I am on the first page of Google for this.  Pretty nifty for a chick who hasn't posted about WW in about 3-4 months!  In various forms, I get about 15 of these a day!
• i hate stay-at-home moms:  some of us are cool!
• old mums suns sex:  hey perv...it's "SONS sex", not suns.  You are clearly too dumb to be looking at porn!
• men who let wife cut off penis:  I'm really hoping that this was a non-English speaker who just mistranslated.  We cut off men's BALLS, not their penises.  Give is a little credit, will ya'?
• droopy tit:  I've said it before and I'll say it again.....fuck you and the horse you rode in on!
• fuck sauce:  chocolate syrup works best for Brad & I.  Sometimes butterscotch. 
• tits boobs breasts hooters knockers:  1 person searched all these words at once.  yeah - we get it!  You're a boob-guy. 
• google fat granny big butt:  and that brought you HERE?  lovely.  I'll have you know that it may be fat, but I'm no granny (that's my mom and there will be no pictures of her butt on this site!).  Oh and dude?  when you Google something, you don't need to use the word "Google" in the search box!  And I thought that I was an idiot when it came to computers!
• free grannys shitting in panties:  sometimes there just are no words
• blonde milf list:  six years ago, I might have been on it.  Now?  not so much
• breastfeeding video big boobs:  you might want to read a book written by this obscure author/psychiatrist...his name is Sigmund Freud
• i ate nothing and gained 2 pounds!:  welcome to my life
• 10 things i love about my mum:  generally your mother appreciates these lists when you actually come up with them yourself, not when you steal someone else's list
• pictures of children throwing a fit:  If you've never seen it, then you either aren't a mother or your children are so well-behaved that I hate you!

You know, in the 20 minutes it took me type this, I think that my shoulders and cheeks actually got redder!  Should make for some fun sleeping tonight and going back to the pool tomorrow!