Healthy relationships with family members, especially your mom are so important. It is easier to be polite when they aren't driving you crazy!
Some parents seem to be unable to let their kids go. If your mom is always showing up at your house, calling constantly and trying to force advice on you, it is time to cut those apron strings. You still want her to bring over leftovers from time to time, so it is important to do this in a way that will not hurt her feelings. You want to be kind, but also get your point across.
Set Clear Boundaries
You need to let mom know what is okay and what is not okay. She may not realize that she is going too far with the constant calling and stopping by. Sit her down and explain your boundaries gently. You definitely do not want to hurt her feelings. Still, it is important that she gets that her current behavior is just not cool. It is a good idea to set one boundary at a time. Once mom gets this one down pat, add in another one. This will help her to ease into this and not feel like you are completely abandoning her.
Take It Slow
When you encourage your mom to cut those apron strings, expect some bumps in the road. It is important to take it slow and not hit mom with all of your new boundaries at once. You also need to expect her to slip up. This is going to be very new as she has spent her life being a mom to you. Think about how things go for you when you are trying to change something tough. It takes time and you will make some mistakes along the way. She will as well.
Help Her Find a Hobby
Maybe your mom is constantly around because she is just bored. This is especially possible if your mom is either retired or a homemaker. She may have nothing to fill her day now that the nest is empty. Think about things she might enjoy and talk to her about them. Once you find one or two ideas, you should suggest that you try it together. Knowing you will do it with her will make her more likely to really give it a go. When suggesting hobbies, you want to suggest things that can be done all year long. For example, gardening is awesome. Unfortunately, it will only keep her busy for a few months out of the year in some places. Try something like painting or crafts. These can be done all year long in the comfort of her home.
Schedule Time Together
You need to let mom know that you want to spend time together... just not every single day. Maybe you can schedule a standing dinner or lunch twice a month. It is important to keep these dates unless an emergency happens. You can even do a family dinner with both parents so they each have the opportunity to spend time with you. This lets her see you love and treasure your time with her, but it puts some boundaries on the time.
What are some of your best tips for maintaining healthy relationships with your family members?
