I heard about something about a week ago for the first time. I thought it was just some weird thing out there that one or two people were doing....you know - like clothes made out of hemp. But since then (and probably because I Googled it), I found so many women talking about it and how much they love it. It's this:
So I guess that this is the point where I show how incredibly uncool, old-fashioned and eco-agressive I am, but I have to ask......are you fucking kidding me? The solution to my "monthly problems" is to stick a funnel-shaped Dixie Cup up my snatch?
Yes - it's the Diva Cup. It seems that it is the latest craze among women that no one is talking about because "shhhhhh - we don't talk about our hoo-hoos". Actually, that isn't true...it seems to be all over the "annonymous internet".
So I did a little more Googling and found that women find this product "liberating". Really? Women getting the right to vote was "liberating". Women getting the right to make certain medical decisions was "liberating". But a new product to deal with Aunt Flo? Not exactly on my Top Ten List of Advances for Women
Being terminally un-hip (put it this way - the coolest thing I have done in the past 8 years is start this blog), I called my sister. She watches Oprah. She reads all the magazines, from Cosmo to InStyle to Entertainment (her kids are older - she has a life now). Surely she had heard of this! She thought I was kidding when I asked her about it. After a few minutes, she realized that it wasn't April Fools Day and went online to check it out herself.
Her reaction? "No...j-j-ju-just NO! pf-ah-um - PEOPLE ARE BUYING THIS?" (which is the exact same thing that I said when I first found out about it)
So let's just get the whole eco-impact discussion out of the way. Yes - I would agree that it is much better for the environment. End of that discussion - you Diva Cup-lovers win that one.
Now let's talk about the "liberating part". One of the most oft-discussed reasons (that I saw) that women loved it was because it can stay in for up to 12 hours, relieving them of the "embarassment" of carrying tampons/pads around in their purse and possibly having them falling out, announcing to the world that it's "that time of the month".
Really? That's so embarassing? You are a woman between the age of 13-60. At any given time there is a 1 in 4 chance that you are on the rag. This is not some big secret that other people don't know about. Sure - we don't want to walk around with signs proclaiming "I'm surfing the crimson wave right now!", but the odd tampon falling from our purse? Not that big a deal. Then again, I have been considerably less embarassable (is that a word?) about that kind of stuff since I had Prince #1, when it seemed as if every employee in the hospital (including the gift shop clerk) came in to my room at one point to feel between my legs!
And there are the women who were talking about how much more "convenient" it is. Really? I can change my product within about 12 seconds....quicker than I can do most things in the bathroom. From what I can see, inserting a Diva Cup involves origami to get it in. Seriously - go to YouTube and do a search for "Diva Cup". You'll find videos of women demonstrating how to insert them using a champagne flute (and one lovely video of a woman emptying hers in the sink).
So I guess the reason I am writing this is to see if I am not the only unconvinced one. In the words of my sister - "forget the $30 cost, you couldn't pay ME to use that thing"
Rhonda
Okay, okay, I have used something similar to this before and EWWW. Talk about MESSY.
So not worth it. And up to 12 hours? Yeah right, not with the crazy insane kind of Aunt Flo visits I have 🙂
jenefur
That's just weird.
The Planner
That is completely appalling.
Plus, since I am in my 30s, all I can think is "toxic shock syndrome!" Okay, that and "champagne flute?!!!!"
Not that I had been keeping a list, but a diva cup and a champagne flute are two things I am never putting anywhere inside my body.
Mindi
Thanks you three! I was starting to wonder if I was the only one who thought that this was a very strange thing.
I read one "testimonial" on the website where a woman said that prior to buying one, she couldn't leave her home/be away from a bathroom for more than an hour for 2 days when she had her period, but the Diva Cup "gave her back 2 days a month". To that I say, "hon - if you are bleeding that bad each month, you don't need a Diva Cup...you need to see a doctor!"
Vampy
I agree with all of you here; I don't find this Diva Cup in any way "normal". Second, knowing how bad I bleed each month, in no shape or form do I want ANYTHING remaining up there when it should be coming out with the normal process.
FreeFromItAll
Vampy - are you the same Vampy I know? If so *HUGE SHOUT OUT*. If not, "nice to meetcha".
Ok...subject at hand...EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
That is all. That and I feel a little ill from reading this. *gag*
FreeFromItAll
Hey hey hey hey, it's a freaky webworld we live in. What are the odds of ME finding YOU in blogland by a tag surfer for flylady.
Vampy, you and I used to be part of a different environment. Wanna guess or should I just tell ya who I used to be in my past life?
Kelly
This is just wrong on so many levels. I don't even know where to begin.
I love your blog, btw.
Where have you been all my life?
peace out, sista.
Mindi
Hey Free - I'm wondering if you know Vampy from the same place that I know Vampy....and if your screen name in that place was very similar to the one you have now.
Steph
Ummm...wow. That was about the most gross thing I think I have ever seen. I agree with all of you, this is not a product for me. My periods aren't that bad since I started Nuvaring, but I still wouldn't shove that thing up inside me. I think it would be so messy. YUCK!
FreeFromItAll
Yes we know vampy from the same place. Nope, this screen name is not even close.
Vampy
HMMM Free, ya might have me here ;o) Mindi and me know each other from a mutual place...maybe you were there too?!
Vampy
AHA! Well now, thank God it's YOU! LMAO
Ya had me going for a minute there you know.
How gross is this Diva thing? can we say ewwwww?
FreeFromItAll
Yeah you've got my vote for ewwwwwwwwwwwww in a serious way.
Remember, I'm the one that went back on birth control at 38.
Vampy
LMAO.
Allison
I think I will pass on that one. I don't think carrying a tampon is embarrassing. I do, on the other hand, think that spilling period blood on me from a cup would be embarrassing.
I reduce and recycle, but I draw the line at diva cups.
lisamm
I think it gives you less freedom. You'd have to be home to empty it. Is anyone really going to empty one of those blood filled tumblers into a sink in a public restroom? Yuck, yuck, double yuck. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth thinking about it.
I notice there are some Flybabies here. I don't know ya'll but I'm a Flybaby too.
Pammy Girl
Do you remember the precourser to this little item, INSTEAD Cups? Gross. Just gross. I can think of countless other ways to care about the environment: drive a hybrid, recycle, lower the heat in my home, blah blah blah. But seriously... I already live a pretty scrimpy life and I'm not about to give up the one thing that makes those five days each month bearable.
fivehusbands
All of a sudden menopause doesn't seem so bad.
Agape
Ew, that in itself just reading about it, makes me want to gag.
Eww
Maria
What I think is really disgusting is the idea of shoving a dioxin- and bleach laden wad of synthetic materials up my vagina, sucking up all the natural moisture that's there to keep it healthy and safe from infection, and then tossing it in a landfill where the menstrual blood of millions of women (healthy or not) will find it's way into our streams and rivers.
You can't get TSS from the Diva Cup, you get it from having absorbant materials lodged in a place that is meant to stay moist. And learning how to use one is no different than learning how to insert a tampon. I'm sure there are YouTube videos for that, too.
This post doesn't come up with a single reason not to use the Diva, but instead defends the use of tampons based on fear and ignorance of the alternative. You guys sound as squeamish as a bunch of 3rd grade boys upon finding out where babies come from.
I'm not squeamish - I've been wiping shit and puke for so long that only spiders still squick me out. You are obviously in love with your Diva Cup....good for you. Exceuse me if I refuse to shove something that could easily be mistaken for a shot glass up my snatch. I'm not looking for my vagina to save the world...that's what my reuseable grocery bags are for! - Mindi