Regardless of whether you are just starting out on your Frugal Journey or if you have been on The Road for quite some time, there is always one big problem.
That darn Jones Family!
You know who they are: they are the ones who just bought the new laptop, the new digital SLR, the new 6000-inch flat-screen plasma TV that also prepares dinner for them. They have the cleaning lady every week; they're planning their 4th trip to DisneyWorld in 3 years.
And you so want to keep up with the Joneses.
For those of you who are struggling to get out of debt, it is this time right now where it is the hardest. Your (and my) previous solution to "I want!" was to just swipe the credit card. Now you have a whole new mindset and the neighbors are STILL planning their family getaway to the Grand Floridian. It just doesn't seem fair!
Let's face it - it sucks.
Do you need to literally kick the Jones family out of your life? I would hope not, because if I eliminated the people who appeared better off than me, I would be losing quite a few friends.
So how do you conquer those pangs of envywhen you see the friend with the new McMansion, the brand new ginormous TV, or even just the mom who dresses their children in BabyGap, while you consider Kohl's a "splurge"?
1. Remember what you are doing and why. Whether it is simply trying to live within your means without creating debt, or trying to recover from all those years that you created debt because you didn't live within your means. Keeping your eye on your goal at all times is probably the best advice I can ever give you.
2. Realize that you don't know how they are paying for all of their purchases. Do you know if your friend is paying cash, or 5-23% interest on that adorable BabyGap sweater? Will they be paying for their luxury hotel stay for the next two years? This may not be fair to my friends and family, but aside from the few people in my life that I KNOW are rolling in dough and have no debt, I choose to believe that the rest of them are in debt up to their eyeballs. Like I said - I know it's not fair to them (and I would never say it to them...except I guess if you are one of my real-life friends reading this, I just did...Love ya!), but it helps me assuage the feelings of self-pity that I sometimes get when they get cooler toys than I have!
3. Remember that life simply isn't fair. There will always be people with more money than you. Some of them got it through really hard work and some of them got it through sheer dumb luck. It's just a fact of life. Learn to deal with it.
4. Your Jones Family could be in their position because they made different choices for their life. Are you willing to make those same choices or trade-offs? For instance, if you are a stay-at-home mom who left a good-paying job to be with your children, would you give up your time with your kids for a big-screen TV? If you are a working mom at a job you love, would you give up your current job to work somewhere else that paid more, but you hate?
The recent news tells us how many people got in way over their head. Some of that can be attributed to bad advice by predatory lenders, but much of it is because people didn't think far enough ahead and were trying to keep up with the Joneses.
Look where that got us....
The bottom line is: It's just STUFF.
Do I want to take my children to DisneyWorld? Yes, but I want to pay off our credit card and my car even more.
Does my husband want to get that oh-so-pretty flat-screen TV mounted on the wall? Yes - but we want to pay off our credit card and my car more.
And remembering that makes all the difference in the world.
Brad
Mindi, we sure do disagree on politics but I love reading your articles on money and finance. Great post!!
The Jones family needs to go! Why? Because they are broke! I am now a subscriber. Thanks or what you do.
Brads last blog post..How Can We Love Our Children More?
Daisy
We all make choices and set up our lives based on our own values. Either it is important to pay off cards or it isn't... You can't gaze lustfully at your neighbor's goods and expect to have a happy heart. Repeat after me: "All I have is all I need." Otherwise - go buy it at Goodwill or on ebay and save some moola. I just purchased a cute $80 Kathy VanZeeland bag for $17 on ebay. Yeah, it's used but one would never ever know that!
Peace...
Daisys last blog post..Someone needs to explain this to me...
Lucas
Well, if you really want to remove some people from your life, check out this "How to make Enemies" video at Howcast - very funny!
Lucas
Oops - here's the link:
http://www.howcast.com/videos/34579-How-To-Make-Enemies
MrsMoney
"The bottom line is: It’s just STUFF."
AMEN! I am realizing this lately and as I'm cutting back on my spending by not being such a consumer, I'm realizing that with less "stuff" I am happier!! I am not cleaning around junk, worrying about it, etc. I am spending time doing things I love and spending time with people I love. It is so much better! Great post!
MrsMoneys last blog post..Yard Sale Earnings and Tips
Tom
I know what you mean, but I try to put it out of my head. Every family will have things that another doesn't. Heck one family I am friends with has GREAT stuff but I try not to get jealous. They have a nice flat screen tv, hundreds of dvds, Wii, N64, DS, Huge swingset, inflatable ball pit, Jukebox, Pool table, Bar, etc...
I just look at as I am lucky enough to be able to enjoy their fun stuff with them!
(smartass! Does it make a difference if I tell you that we are out of beer and that it isn't a flat-screen but a 4-year old projection one? - Mindi)
Tom
🙂 Beer in the bottom drawer of our fridge. Help yourself! 🙂
Brad
Quotes I thought to be relevant:
"Not what you possess but what you do with what you have, determines your true worth." Thomas Carlyle
"In a consumer society there are inevitably two kinds of slaves: the prisoners of addiction and the prisoners of envy." Ivan Illich
"Every man is rich or poor according to the proportion between his desires and his enjoyments." Samuel Johnson
"Joy is not in things; it is in us." Richard Wagner
savvysuzie
Oh man do I know this tune ALL too well. The only thing worse than the Jones family on your block is the Joneses in your OWN family! My brother and sister in law have all of the latest electronics, DVDs, their daughter gets another wardrobe from Macy's every other month....but then they cry poverty when REAL necessities come up. We are scraping by, we don't go out, and most of our clothes are secondhand. But we are independent, we manage what little we have well, and we are HAPPY and AT EASE. I wouldn't trade my life for theirs ANY DAY 🙂
DianeScraps
A little bit of cost consiousness now can go a LONG way.
Dave Ramsey says that if you live like no one else now (meaning paying off bills, cutting costs) and pay off debt. When you are Debt Free you can LIVE like no one else.
My hubby and I made some HUGE concessions about 3 years ago, and there have been some bumps along the way (unexpected big medical bills, stupid tax for doing stupid things with money) but we see the light at the end of the tunnel, and we sleep a whole lot better at night now!
DianeScrapss last blog post..I'm Back! Couple of quick couponer things to do!