I've just spent the last two days shuttling children to pool parties, birthday parties and myself to the mall. I've put off this discussion, because I know that my deep aversion to thong underwear puts me in the minority. But I can no longer remain silent.
Ladies - could we all please agree on one thing?
This
and this
Look like shit!
Think that the PeTA ad is a little over-the-top? Then obviously you weren't at my local pool this weekend!
Look - everyone hates getting waxed. No woman has ever woke up in the morning brimming with excitement over getting the hair ripped out of her snatch. And as for shaving? We hate the constant upkeep, the ingrown hairs, the razor burn, etc....it just sucks! Depilatories, while painless and longer-lasting than shaving, are also a pain the ass, especially if you do the whole Brazilian thing....you have to sit on the toilet with a mirror and a handful of cream, hold that position for 10 minutes and then "rodeo walk" over to the tub/shower to rinse off and HOPE that it all comes out the first time (don't ask me how I know this)
Yes - it's annoying. Yes - it's time-consuming. Just shut up and fucking do it. Either that or let it grow really long and do it up like Bo Derek in "10". If I have to see your pubes at the pool, at least pretty them up!
And about the thongs.....
I don't get the attraction women have to thongs. I see why men like them, but even women who aren't looking to get laid in the next 5 minutes swear to me that they are wonderfully comfortable. I personally don't find walking around with a string up my ass enjoyable, but whatever floats your boat!
But if you are going to insist on wearing them with low-rise pants, either tuck in your shirt or make sure that you wear a low-rise thong. There is nothing attractive or sexy about thongs poking out of pants. You look like a whore.
And if you are fat, you look like a whore that is kidding herself.
If you have a tramp stamp, low-rise jeans and a peek-a-boo thong? Then you look like a $2 whore.
Oh - and if you are over the age of 30? All of the above goes triple for you!
I know - I'm old-fashioned, a fuddy-duddy, a slave to the patriarchy that dictates what women should do/shave. That's fine by me.
But the next time I see some 40-year old woman at the grocery store with her thong peeking out of her jeans, I think I'm going to reach out and give her the mother of all wedgies.
I've already given Brad the password to this blog so that he can notify you of my funeral arrangements
ThatTushGuy
Very nice blog. However I have to disagree with the thong sticking out portion.
As a man, I must say that as long as the female in question has the body to pull of the poking out thong look, more power to her.
I will also add that the guys who mow there lawn with their shirt off, six pack showing, and shorts a tad low are also withen their right to do so.
Trust me, I have heard what the ladies say when "that" guy is mowing, and it is not that he is a whore. More to the point it is that look foward to mowing day. 🙂
Goose - Gander Yada yada yada
[I disagree with you on the "if you have the right body" thing. As for the guys with the 6-pack abs? I never said I wasn't a hypocrite! Bring 'em on! - Mindi]
Maria
*lol* @ That Tush Guy.
[yeah - I'm thinking that isn't his real name....but I would love it if he hung around more! - Mindi]
Rhonda
Ewww, thongs SUCK.
[THANK YOU! even my 60-year old mother loves them. I was starting to think I was crazy! - Mindi]
Say What?
Why is that the "wrong" people are the ones that are sporting the low rise jeans and thong look? And they are the same ones wearing the 2-sizes-too-small-gawd-help-us-all-if-they-bend-over bike shorts too.
As for the grooming, we won't even go there - let's just say you see some interesting sights at the Y pool in the summer.
As for the guy mowing his lawn sans shirt and low cut shorts, wish he would move to my neighborhood! I got the sans shirt-beer belly crowd here and IT AIN'T THE SAME TYPE OF SIX PACK SHOWING!
[unfortunately, the guys who mow the common areas in my development all look like Cheech and Chong (or Mario & Luigi of Nintendo fame)...and none of them speak English. Now the contractors that are here replacing curbs this week are an entirely different story! - Mindi]
Lara
I like thongs. The right style, and you don't even feel them. I don't even mind 'em sticking out of my jeans. Because I just despise panty lines to no end.
But no thanks on the mother of all wedgies. My hubby already does that on a regular basis. Another couple weeks and I'll be permanently numb down there, and it'll be ALL HIS FAULT.
Mwahahahaha
I'm strange. I know. I think I need more sleep.
[sleep is good (although I still think you are nuts for liking thongs!) - Mindi]
trish
I hate thongs. I've tried them, and all I do is go around all day trying to get the floss out of my ass. No thanks.
I think what's really bad is the young girls who are wearing them who really shouldn't. Feminism has not come so far as to make you look thin when you're not. *shiver*