That husband/early death thing? It's back on!

Remember this post?  And then this one?  Well forget what I said in the second one.  It's back on!

Why you ask?  Did he have an affair?  Hit me?  Run off to Vegas with our life savings of $12.78?

No - he brought this home two nights ago:

Yes - you are seeing correctly.  It's a deep-fat fryer.  Just the sort of thing that every woman on a diet wants brought in to her home.

Is there any reasoning with him?  No.  Can I appeal to his fear of gaining weight?  Not to the man who literally eats a gallon of ice cream per week, drinks a case of beer each week, drinks non-diet sodas without a care in the world, eats an entire Tombstone pizza in one sitting and slathers mayonnaise on everything (and yet he is still about a 34" waist.  Sometimes I just hate him!).

And so we have seem to have a new policy in this house:  If it is edible, we must fry it!  If it can be dredged in egg & breadcrumbs or flour first...so much the better! It's as if Elvis has come back to life and moved in to my kitchen.

Already he is asking about funnel cakes, fried ice cream and fried twinkies.  And I had to explain to him that trans-fat-free is NOT the same as fat-free.

Lucky for me, the constant stench of oil lingering in the air is enough to turn me off fried foods for quite some time.  But if he keeps frying things at this rate, I'm going to seriously look in to getting a pair of golden arches over my house.