Where a Kid Can Be A Hellion - and for only $37.22 for 3 people!

I know that I bring these things on myself.  

Taking my children to Chuck E Cheese on a day where half of the schools in the area are closed wasn't the smartest move I ever made.  I only had 2 today, as Prince #1 did have school, but Prince #2's preschool is closed (and of course, there was The Queen).  BestFriendMommy and I thought we were being clever, agreeing to meet there at 10:00am when they opened and before they got busy.  But then she was an hour late because her car broke down on the way and since I don't have or want a cell phone, she called Brad who was still at home (her husband is out of town) and he picked her up and brought her to Chuck E Cheese after the tow truck took her car and before he went to work.  And when they got there, her children made sure to mention that they were "owed" 60 minutes of extra time because BestFriendMommy had the nerve to let her car catch on fire on the highway when she KNEW that her sons wanted to get to the Chuck as soon as possible (ok - so she has had a worse day than I have) 

 Anyway, I think it is time that we all get a few things straight

To the managers at Chuck E. Cheese:

1. Buy a calendar.  If possible, note the days that children might be off of school when it is still only 45 degrees out.  Consider that their parents may be sick of them after they have had a week off and it might be busier than a normal Monday.  Ask more than 3 employees to come in that day.
2. None of us expect gourmet, but would it be possible to NOT burn every pizza you ever make?  I'm already paying $15 for a pizza roughly the size of (and not as good as) a $4 Tombstone pizza.  Oh - and don't roll your eyes at me when I tell you that I need a new one because my children are picky and don't like black cheese.  You are a restaurant (and I use that term loosely)that caters to toddlers, preschoolers and other children under 8.  Surely you have heard that they usually like their food to LOOK like that food?
3. Let me assure you - if I tell you that a machine ate my token or didn't give me my tickets, I am not trying to rip you off by getting a free $.30 token.  I am saying this because children expect at least 1 ticket to come out of every game at your place and when the machine doesn't deliver,  they get a little upset.

And to the parents:

1. We all love the security at Chuck E. Cheese.  We have 2 near us and they are very diligent about checking handstamps at the exit.  This however does not mean that you can let your child loose for 3 hours without ever looking up from your book.  I'm not asking you to be a Helicopter Mom, but just check up on them every hour or so.  Which brings me to......
2. If you aren't going to watch your child, don't start yelling at me because I told your little pwecious that he can't practice his roundhouse kicks on my almost-5 year old.  You are just lucky I didn't knock your child in to next week.  I do believe in "boys will be boys", but not when your little shithead of a son kicks mine in the stomach in order to get to a game first after I saw him trying to steal my child's tickets as they were coming out of the machine 15 minutes earlier.
3. Please don't change your child's diaper ON the table where others will later be eating.  As noted before, there are only 3 employees in the whole joint with people waiting for an available table, so the tables likely won't be cleaned as soon as you leave.  I don't think the next people sitting at that table want their burnt pizza with a side of your child's shit.
4. All kids love SkeeBall.  Hell - I love SkeeBall.  But there is an age/ability limit to it.  If your child can only get the ball in to the holes by walking them up the ramp and placing them in the hole, 2 things are going to happen.  The first is that the older kids are going to want to do it.  The second is that the machines are going to Tilt and stop working, especially when your sweet little dear starts running across ALL the machines.   And of course, since there is no employee working the floor, you have just added 6 machines to the list of those not working/out of tickets.  Thanks a bunch asshole!

Only 5 more hours until the kids bedtime!