Bridal shower gift etiquette sounds like it should be pretty easy. I mean, you go and buy something off the registry (although you don't HAVE to buy from the registry) and you are good to go, right? What seems like a pretty straightforward thing for most people actually can be quite confusing for others. You would be shocked at some of the gifts that people will show up with. Without getting too hoity toity about all this, here are some bridal shower gift etiquette rules to live by:
Make Sure You Register - Why? Consider this…Your old friend from middle school twenty years ago shows up. You haven’t seen her since the days you went trolling the neighborhood during your “awkward, goth-vampire” stage. Because she is from out of town, and has no registry, she shows up with a vampire goblet for her ghoulish friend. If only you had registered and told her you wanted a gravy bowl instead, you would not be in this situation.
Register.
But Don't Put The Registry Information on the Invitation - Nothing says "don't forget to give me a gift" like telling them right on the invite where you want them to buy you a gift. Your guests can ask about where you are registered when they RSVP.
For Heaven’s Sake Keep a List - The absolute worst thing a bride can do is try to remember who gave what. It won’t happen. Rather than scramble and embarrassing yourself later, have one person with very nice handwriting keep a nice list of who gives what. This is not to make anyone feel bad...it simply is for thank you notes later.
Only Invite People That are Invited to the Wedding - Can you imagine being that one girl that is invited to the bridal shower but is not invited to the wedding? That person will feel like the bride simply wanted her gift. Nobody should ever be included in the shower if they are not at the wedding. That is tacky with a capital T and it would be extremely insulting….yet people make the mistake all the time.
Don’t Ask for Money - Themed bridal shower gift etiquette says that you can specify certain categories of gifts. You can ask for lingerie gifts, kitchen gifts, bathroom gifts and even...ahem...bedroom gifts. Under no circumstances can you ask for fiscal gifts. People do this sort of thing all the time and it is sad. Don’t be sad.
Don’t do the “Bridal Shower Gift Thank You Note” Registry Thing - Yes, this is a real thing. I went to a bridal shower once where on the gift table they asked you to fill out an envelope with your address and gift on it. This was meant to help them send out a thank you note for the gift. Uh….that seems rather tacky to me and it almost feels like they aren’t really thankful at all. If you are throwing a shower, don’t make people do this. It is one step removed from having someone write their own thank you note and sending it to themselves.
Bridal shower gift etiquette is really not a complicated concept. Simply take the time to be thoughtful of others and follow traditions. Register if you are the bride to give folks options that make sense and buy from that registry if you are a guest. If you can’t then pick a gift that is totally safe and logical.
Hint...it is not a vampire goblet.