It used to be that people who used coupons were given dirty looks or looks of pity in the stores. We were seen as "the po' folk" (and some of us are and were) because they were under the impression that we were going to quite a bit of trouble to save "two or three dollars" (how little they know!).
"For the time they spend cutting coupons they could just work a few more hours and bring home more money"
and so on (to see my previous rants on this mindset, click here here and here)
Then the economy tanked....and frugal became all the rage. The magazines, newspapers and television have been full of tips on cutting back on your expenses.
And the mocking has begun. But this time, it is a "reverse mocking"
"Oh - poor baby had to cut back on her $10 per day Starbucks habit! I've never even been to a Starbucks!"
"Are they kidding? Save money by skipping the manicures and pedicures? Who ever had the money for that in the first place?"
"They really think that buying a 3-year old car instead of a brand-new one is the key to not losing their home? My car is 20 years old!"
"These people don't know what it means to be frugal. I know what it means"
and so on....
Now that being frugal is "in" there seems to be a rush to secure one's place as Frugaler-than-Thou (no - I don't think "frugaler" is a word...it just flowed better than "more frugal"). It's almost as if people are gloating that the formerly better-off (financially) now find themselves needing to tighten their belts. It's "payback time".
It's a very unattractive quality in a person.
Shouldn't they be applauded for being Perfectly Frugal? Can you be Perfectly Frugal if you don't practice Perfect Frugality?
What is a difference between Perfect Frugality and being Perfectly Frugal?
- Perfect Frugality makes their own laundry detergent and washes only in cold water to save energy costs.
- Perfectly Frugal looks for a BOGO sale on laundry detergent and pairs it with a coupon (and maybe even a Catalina deal).
- Perfect Frugality would never dream of stepping foot in a Starbucks and spending $3 for a latte.
- Perfectly Frugal starts making more coffee at home yet still indulges in the occasional latte or Dunkin Donuts coffee.
- Perfect Frugality will make any sacrifice necessary to spend less money.
- Perfectly Frugal is making changes in their spending that are both significant and that they are willing to sustain.
Frugality is not a zero-sum game. It isn't all or nothing.
Being Perfectly Frugal is all about making changes that benefit your financial situation AND still allow you to enjoy life. What good is our time on this planet if we are miserable?
Yes - I spend a very small amount at the grocery store and am always actively searching out freebies. I stay home as much as possible to avoid wasting gas and I would rather throw a blanket on my lap while watching TV (or typing this post) than turn up the thermostat. I also continue to pay WAY too much for my skin care and makeup and have a serious Coldwater Creek addiction. I don't want to practice Perfect Frugality in all areas of my life. I am content with being Perfectly Frugal. Perfectly Frugal is whatever works for your family in more ways than saving money.
It's not a competition. Any person that is trying to come over to the Frugal Side of The Force deserves encouragement and support.
kimmiep621
good post. i am pefectly frugal. but the exception. lol i do use cold water only in my laundry haha. i hate paying for those high oil prices. we did that in the summer when i didn't want to run out and now we just keep it that way. but i do buy the super cheap detergent and i am no longer brand loyal when comes to that, i just go for sale
Kristin
You rock. Thank you!
Frugaler-than-thou
It's not a "frugaler-than-thou" mentality that causes these reactions, it's anger. The "perfect frugality" folk were mocked for years for using coupons, driving old cars, and cooking their own food by the "newly frugal" people who think they're hot stuff because they just discovered that bringing your own lunch to work saves a lot of money. Not to mention that anyone who spent the last decade saving their money and living within their means has been getting royally screwed. I've been renting all these years because I knew I couldn't afford a mortgage, and after seeing people getting bailed out of their ridiculous, unaffordable mortgages, I'm half-sorry that I did. Yes, I probably should be more encouraging towards these people, but it's hard to look past the bitterness and not say "I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS YOU SHEEP!".
Mindi
Frugaler-than-thou:
I can understand your frustration....I just think that it is a waste of energy (and counter-productive) to be tearing people down who are finally coming around to "your side".
I've had real-life friends & acquaintances who have been "living high on the hog" for years that are now coming to me asking me to teach them to save money. I'm happy to help, without the lectures.
When someone is looking for help, I try not to smack them down. High school ended a LONG time ago. The mentality shouldn't endure
Jennifer Y.
This is just the best post! And, I just might add this to my fave quotes on FB!!
"It’s not a competition. Any person that is trying to come over to the Frugal Side of The Force deserves encouragement and support."
Heidi @ GGIP
I can totally see both sides of this. I think that some people are just flabbergasted that other people think it is a hardship to give up things that are most certainly luxuries.
But I also must look at it this way. If it weren't for the people paying full price for items, there is no way I could get the deals that I do.
rene
I love this post. I get everyone's point. I don't know if I am frugal or it comes from growing up poor, but I won't pay full price for new clothes, cause I think it's a waste of money. On the flip side of that coin, I will not wash and reuse a plastic baggie. Lastly, I like the last post...I wouldn't be able to buy really great stuff used, if someone before hadn't bought it new.
Mrs. micah
I could never be perfectly frugal. Well, maybe I could be but I wouldn't be happy doing it. I prefer the kind of frugality that spends money on the things I really value and saves on everything else. 🙂
Meg from FruWiki
I think some of the anger expressed by the frugaler-than-thou folk (self sometimes included) has to do with the media coverage of these people more so than the people themselves. I do feel for people who have to give up anything that they enjoy because of financial problems, and I'm happy to see that people are making necessary changes.
But it's infuriating when so-called financial experts are clogging up the airways talking about how much money one can save by giving up a daily latte most aren't drinking anyhow or comparison shopping for stuff people don't even need -- especially when there are so many deeper, more important frugality lessons out there.
The worst, though, is when they make heroes out of people who still live better than most! "America's cheapest family" isn't the family that goes thrift store shopping for designer brands and knick knacks. But as always, it seems like the media is very out of touch with how many (maybe most) Americans have been living
Daisy
Someone perhaps can explain to me how it detracts from one's own frugality to have others do the same? If I am suddenly interested in saving money for whatever reason (who gets to judge my motives, BTW... maybe I am trying to simplify my life, for instance and have plenty of money...) how does that diminish someone else's efforts and accomplishments in this area? Makes no sense to me.
You know, I was always taught that I should not be envious of another's success - I should be inspired... that that is a conscious decision... my CHOICE. Some have suggested that this is about the media attention newbies are receiving?? Are you kidding me? Not okay, folks. In the end, isn't the fact that more people are caring about their materialistic, consumerism what really counts here? Shouldn't we all be happy that as a society our mores may be shifting? If media exposure of any part of this is helping with that... why is that bad again?
All of you who are so wonderfully perfect at this have my hardy congratulations and admiration... those of you who choose to throw that in everyone's faces well - suffice it to say I hope you choke on your own smug self-satisfaction.