Try saying that five times fast!
Yes dear readers, it's time for Fight The Frump Day, sponsored by Fussy.
This week we are going to talk abut something slightly different....continuing to fight the frump when the moms/women around you are most definitely NOT Fighting the Frump.
Why should we care what the other moms do?
Because being a mom and running in the "mommy circles" is just like high school...only this time we can't use the "she has sex!" rumor against each other. The fact that we each have one or more kids proves that we have been getting laid for years (except my father, who has had sex exactly 4 times, resulting in 4 daughters. Please don't try to disavow me of that idea...it's a visual I do not need. Not if I want to sleep at night. It took me weeks to get the visual out of my head the last time we set up camp at a bar for 9 hours and after the 15th scotch-on-the-rocks-with-a-twist, he started talking about sex and asking me questions about my "history". Smearing my eyeballs with buffalo wing sauce proved to be a welcome break from that conversation. Unfortunately, I have no such allusions about my mother, having lived with her for 3 months while our house was being built and getting to listen to her stereophonic moanings).
Where was I?
Oh yeah - the bitches (AKA "Female Fidos") who might give you crap or look at you funny because you have decided to Fight The Frump....
Fighting the Frump is not always easy. There have been many mornings when the alarm has gone off (always set for an hour before the kids normally wake up) and I have rolled over and thought "Can't I just spend the day in my PJs?". Then my mother's non-moaning voice would get in my head...the voice that says "Min - you look like crap without a shower and mascara!". I've been hearing it since I was 14 years old and it is ingrained in my mind.
And when you have made a decision to Fight the Frump AND go out in public during the "mommy hours" (9:00am to 3:00pm), you are going to get some sideways glances and unspoken criticism which all boils down to this:
Who is she trying to impress?
The answer, dear reader is: YOU
Do your kids care if you used one or two or three shades of eyeshadow that day? Of course not.
Will your children refuse to play with you because you are wearing sweats that day? Not a chance.
Will your step be a little lighter that day at the supermarket, secure in the knowledge that you still have a pile of dishes to do, 18 loads of laundry to fold and cookies to bake...but at least YOU look good? You bet your ass it will!
But not all moms have made the choice to Fight the Frump. Hell - going by my area, only about 25% have (at least from what I see at the stores and the McD's playland). Should we bend to peer pressure and just skip the eyeliner and throw on the leggings and oversized sweatshirt from 1994 (yeah - you know you still have them! They're comfy...of course you kept them....besides, it was a non-maternity outfit that you could wear through your 7th month!)? Or should we say "No! I am a really cool chick and I deserve to look my best!"? (don't answer - that's rhetorical)
"But not everyone will liiiiiike me if I look like I think that I am better than them"
You get used to it. Besides - if everyone liked you, would you have enough time to nurture that many friendships properly? Of course not! There are probably some "Fussy Readers" who clicked away the first time I used the phrase "getting laid". I'm already over it....can't please everyone, you know!
I have spent the better part of my life with people thinking I am a snotty little bitch. Part of the reason was because...well, I was a snotty little bitch. But the other part is that my care with the way I looked (even through the "fat years") caused some women/girls to think that I was being "uppity".
You need to stand proud in being a Frump Fighter. Who cares what the other moms think of you? Remember what your mom said:
They're Just Jealous Of You!
(ok - at some point, that bullshit HAD to be true. Why not now?)
Next week? I haven't figured that out yet. You'll just have to check back & see!
Daisy
What other people think of me is none of my business...
Sister Honey Bunch
When you look good, you feel good. Screw what the frumpity-dumps think. They'll figure it out one day. Or not.
HRH
High school is so....over. Fight the frumpies by looking fabulous.
Valarie
Looking good for yourself is the key. It makes you feel better and then your more confident.
Mindi
I'm glad to see that everyone is so un-fazed by the comments of others.
One of the bigest things I get is "why are you so dressed up?"...mainly because of my tendency to wear at least 2" heels every day. I tell them "It's not a dressing-up-thing. It's a wanting-to-hit-5'4" thing".
krissy
Amen, Amen, Amen!
I found you through linky love and I will definately be back b/c you just blogged about what i think about every day! Especially when I take my kid to school in my PJ's. I'm pretty sure that classifies me as Frumpy!
And of course, everyother momma at school looks like she had been up for hours primping herself out!!!! And she's the one that has 4 kids.....I have one!!!!
Anyway, glad to have met your blog!
FreeFromItAll (Darla)
You are so right! I wrote an article this week about how I have taken to wearing my "sassy" shoes around the house to give me a little extra pizzazz even during 18 loads of laundry. AND, best of all they require little effort -- slide foot in shoe....if ya can't do that, you need more help than Miss Fussy Pants "fighting the frump" can do for ya! LOL
jill
just putting on something pretty makes such a difference!
Maria [Immoral Matriarch]
*applause*
Connie
My favorite is when my husband asks me if I am going somewhere! No...just didn't want to look like crap all day! LOL!
Love this post!
Daisy
Hey Min - it took a loooooong time for me to get that way - Hell, I am 41 years old - let's say it took me about 40 years to figure it out. I haven't had anyone ask me why I am so dressed up. Not yet. I will have to think of a snarky come-back for that one... How dare they!!!
You just be you in all your magnificence and t'hell with everyone else...
😀
vampireslayer1
I've had one mother tell me that people are afraid to talk to me because I'm intimidating by my appearance...WTF? I told this particular mom that I didn't give a $hit about what she thought about me because I wear my makeup everyday and dress to feel good about myself...not please anyone else. Bottom line is just because we are married or have kids doesn't mean we have to look like "grandma moses".
Great post Mindi!
Melody
Terrific post! Of course, not caring what other people think of me may be the reason I have no friends - LOL!
Trish
I needed this kick in the pants today. I've been in the Winter doldrums since the beginning of February, which has resulted in a fashion funk. Each morning I've pulled on the ugly red parka over my p.j.PJs, slipped on the Uggs and trodded my daughter to the bustop. Today, more snow here and I was in my PJs and sexy fleece robe until 11 a.m. and now I'm lounging about in yoga pants and a college sweatshirt from 1999 (at least it's not 1994) Not a good thing people. Tomorrow is a new day and I'm taking your FTF advice and heading out to shop for some sassy shoes too.
karla ~ looking towards heaven
it stinks that women still feel the need to have to act like we are in high school. I hated it enough back then...
Blessings,
Karla
fullheartandhands mama
I'm feeling a bit guilty that I'm in my velour lounge pants as I sit here. But, I did wear some jeans and a cute necklace to our playdate this morning.
Good advice! No need to worry about what the other mommies think. It is a waste of time and energy.
Accountable
ugh... Now that I work at home, I am mostly guilty of this. I will put on the jeans and a sweater and make-up if I have plans on going to the store over lunch.
The day(s) that I plan on going to the gym, I use the tinted moisturizer and wear the gym pants while working. Yes, I drop the kids off in my gym wear. I hate having to change after I get dressed in the AM.
vampireslayer1
Hey AC! Just fyi, you can still dress up the jeans and sweater girlfriend...lots of people don't think this is the case but I certainly for one say "yes, you can!" It's called "Shabby-chic" girlfriend!
melissa
i refuse to leave the house without fighting the frump. i CAN NOT leave without a little bit of make up on. i MUST not leave in pajamas...although, if i'm just dropping off kids and don't have to leave my car...as long as i have a bit of make up on...who cares!
and...i've never been one to TRULY care, all that much, what other frumps...er...fidos, think of me. because, i have a superiority complex...which is NOT from an inferiority complex...at.all!! just parents and grandparents who fed my ego as a child!! anyway...i love this fight the frump thing. i'm going to have to post about it, too!! ok..fine, so i'm a little bit of a follower...but, only if i like what i'm following!!
xo
kelly
I say go for. Get on with ya bad self. Who cares what people say. I have been feeling really frumpy lately. I think I may go out and cut and color the old hair. However, you will never get me out of my jeans, converse, and rockstar tees. But, let me tell ya. I rock them hard and sexy, baby!
Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants
You are too funny! Love it!