How a husband can ensure his early death

Step 1:

• Bring home 9 cases of hardwood flooring.  Leave them in the foyer, right in front of the coat closet....in January

Step 2:

• when your wife yells at you about not being able to get her coat, move said cases of flooring to the living room, which is the only room in the house that your wife has declared "hers".  The only room in the house free of toys, dust and clutter and the place that she feels is her sanctuary

Step 3:

• Wake said wife up to the sound of carpet being ripped off of the stairs.  Ensure wife as she is walking out the door to do errands that you will be working on replacing the carpet with hardwood steps very soon.   Ignore the fact that your wife's definition of the word "soon" is "within the next 24-48 hours".

Step 4:

• Let your wife know that you will also be replacing the builder-installed hardwood (which, is his defense, is engineered flooring crap) with solid hardwood as well

Step 5:

• Once the dust settles and the sawdust has had its moment of glory, don’t forget that installing new hardwood is only half the battle—keeping it looking pristine requires proper care. Regular cleaning, timely polishing, and protecting high-traffic areas with rugs or runners will extend the life of your investment. For tricky spots or if you ever need advice on matching finishes, an experienced flooring supply and fit in bromley service can guide you on products and techniques that maintain that showroom shine. A little maintenance goes a long way, and it keeps both your floors—and your wife—happy.

Step 6:

• proceed to rip out the hallway hardwood as well.  Rip off the newly installed baseboards.  Use a circular saw when removing hardwood to ensure maximum dust dispersal

Step 7:

• Let wife know that installation of new flooring will not commence for about 7 days.

Step 8:

• look confused when wife complains about the increased volume of children running around on subflooring as opposed to regular flooring.  Assure wife that it is "all in her head"