Last night, I found out that one of my college boyfriends had died.
This is someone who "put me through the wringer" (in a 19-year-old-everything-is-the-end-of-the-world-way), but at the end of the day, he was a NICE guy, with problems.
Twenty years went by and I can honestly say that I only thought of him a few times. Then, he Friended me on Facebook about 6 months ago. He was living in sunshine, married to a beautiful woman and seemed happy. We had a bunch of email conversations about the past, present and future. Every bad thing that I had blamed him for in our past relationship was gone. We were grownups now. We became friends.
And now he is dead.
I don't know HOW he died, but I can tell you from almost 42 years of living, that you can read VOLUMES in to an obituary. Someone requests donations to the American Cancer Society or American Lung Association? It's a fairly good bet that they died from cancer or lung disease. So when I see that my friend is requesting donations to a local mental-health program...what am I to assume?
PLEASE - I have lost peripheral family members and friends to mental health issues. If you know anyone suffering from depression...do what you can.
Mental illness is, in many cases, a biological problem and we can't save everyone. But I have friends and family members who are kicking themselves because they deemed a friend or family member "too high maintenance"..and then they were dead.
If you love someone..tell them that EVERY day. If you see someone in need...TRY to help them!
:: To Bob:
The Lord bless you and keep you;
The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
...The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.
RIP Bob - you will be missed!
l parks
This makes me so so sad. My father just commited suicide and I wish I had just one minute with him and may be change his mind. And I would tell him to stay, it's better to live, cause you only get this precious one life and it is not as bad as it seems...
beth
I am so sorry for your loss. I understand how difficult it is when someone close to you is dealing with a pain that we just can't understand. Just know that he knows that you love him and don't blame yourself.
I just lost my father as well and I know that there is nothing that I can say that will make it better, but know that you are not alone in this world and that others feel for you as well.
Mercedes Levy
Mindi,
I am so sorry for your loss. I don't know what else to say but say that I am thinking of you.
Mercedes
Gail K
Hugs Mindi - hugs and prayers being sent to your friend's family too.
Stephanie Brass
I'm sorry. You are so right. Take care.
SKK
Hugs to you. It is hard. My sister battles mental illness and sometimes you do get worn out with the high maintenance relationship. Don't ever give up on them!!! There is good in them even if you don't see it often enough. Sorry for your loss!
Mary Ekdahl, Ph.D.
This is such an important topic and we must TALK about it. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is a great resource for people who have lost someone to suicide or for someone who wants to help others who suffer from chronic depression (afsp.org).
beth
My father passed away at the age of 54(from a heart attack) on January 26th. I am 26 and spoke with hime everyday, and I told him I loved him everyday and am extremely grateful that I did because I know that he went to wherever he is knowing that his daughter would always remeber him.
I am glad that you tell people to say that they love the ones close to them everyday. I think that it's something we oftentimes take for granted, and in the case of someone battling depression it can really help.
I am very sorry for your loss and will keep this man's family in my prayers. Mental illness is something that we oftentimes can't see or won't acknowledge and has touched my family in terrible ways. You are very right with your advice to try and help everyone that we can, and it may not even need to be in a large way. Sometimes just knowing that there is someone who thinks about you everyday is enough to see you through the bad times in your life.
Again, I am sorry for your loss and hope that you are ok and keep as positive an outlook as you can through it.
rose
I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you at this sad time.
Jackie R
SO sorry for your loss, Mindi. I know a lot about high maintenance people/relationships and agree with you 100% that you can't give up on people. You don't have to take over their life to care about them, but people need to be there for each other, check in, and pay attention to signs that tell them something is wrong.
I will keep you and Bob's family in my thoughts.
Rachel @ Surviving The Stores
Mindi, I am so so sorry. 🙁
What an important reminder to tell those we love everyday how much we love them.
Janice K.
I'm so sorry to hear. My thoughts and prayers are with you and his family.
Rory
Mindi --
While it is faint solace, you can at least take some joy in the recent reconnection and re-appreciation of what made your friend *your* *friend*.
I hope that all goes as well as can be expected for his family and for you as everyone processes this.
Crystal @ The Thrifty Mama
Thank you Mindi for bringing awareness to this. You have brought so much blessing to my heart with your post, as well as to many other people. This is definitely something Moms, Dads, Kids, Everyone NEEDS to know..
Sending you a big virtual hug! It sucks when people die, and I pray that the Lord also blesses and keeps YOU.
Kelly B
I am so very sorry about the loss of your friend. I will be praying for his family. I lost my favorite uncle to suicide, and the loss has been devastating.